I am here to share the sad story of becoming a food prude.
Food Prude: noun \ˈfüdˈprüd\
1. a person who holds themselves to a higher standard when it comes to the foods they eat
2. a person who is easily shocked by the foods that do not shock or offend other people
3. one who is modest about the amount of food and/or beverages they choose to consume
We have long known that eating healthy, reading labels, living a healthy lifestyle can be depressing, boring and just plain exhausting.
This is why some fear coming in contact with a food prude in concern they may start to become one or be irritated by one. It’s like avoiding the Zombie Apocalypse. The food prudes may start to eat away at your fat and health problems, like a zombie may eat away at your face.
It’s scary. Scary that your life may be totally altered for the better. I have lived the last 19 years learning how to live a healthier, fit lifestyle, becoming one who cares about the health and well being of my mind, body and soul. Not only concerned with the health and well being of myself, but our Earth, our children and the entire decline in vitality of our current population. I have suffered deeply by coming in contact with these food prudies (not really a word, but it is a word now. It’s a Kiminism). Their inspiration, their education, their raw advice was overwhelming, yet motivating. As they ate away at my thoughts, their words started to alter my daily choices. It was at first scary to switch my coke for water, my protein bars for chocolate ( yes switch my protein bars for chocolate- soy free that is) and to give up my #1 in the drive thru in exchange for my home cooked grass-fed steak tips, organic potatoes and lots of butter :>) Yet slowly the thoughts and education of those such as Ray Peat, Phd., Paul Chek, Dr. Mercola, Dr. Lee, Sally Fallon, Dr. Weston A Price, David Kessler and Michael Pollan have eaten away at my brain, transforming me into a deprived, sad food prude.
What have I discovered after these years of torture and personal experience? There are horrible side effects of being a food prude. Some more depressing than others. Unfortunately this could happen to you. You may be around a food prude and not even know it.
How can you tell if you’ve been in contact with a food prude for too long or if you may be slowly becoming one yourself?
Signs & Symptoms of an authentic food prude:
1. Seemingly happy. Almost so happy it seems fake.
2. An increase in energy.
3. Able to cope with difficult situations.
4. Better flexibility.
5. A feeling of greater “sexiness”.
6. A decline in purchases of pain relievers, laxatives or weight loss supplements.
7. Sharp, mental focus.
8. A craving for home cooked food.
9. A sense of power, strength or speed.
10. An increase in love, patience and/or compassion.
These are just 10 of many scary symptoms you may experience if you are attacked by, or become a carrier of the food prude disorder. I know this truth is shocking and may cause temporary stress or panic attacks, but it was laid on my heart to share this information with you. This is what I have been called to do. I hope you can accept this message as a warning. A thoughtful, precautionary measure to watch out for these food prudies. The depression of becoming a food prude has become unbearable for me and if I can prevent this from happening to one of you, my life’s work will be complete. Please share this message before midnight tonight to prevent the food prudies from multiplying. If you do not share this message, you will be responsible for the world being overtaken by these obsessed food prudes prior to the Zombie Apocalypse. PLEASE…. do not allow our destiny to be altered!