Hmmm? What is Kim talking about now?
This is a new saying around our facility and something I truly try to live by at home and at work.
We all know there are obstacles in life. The plan never exactly happens how we planned it. The only thing guaranteed in life is change. We are always going to experience setbacks, obstacles and disappointments. What’s different about each of these guaranteed moments in life, is how we choose to react to them.
Many of us are making our life MUCH harder than it has to be. Each time a stressor comes around, we allow it to consume us. We allow worry, doubt and fear to consume us just anticipating what may come around. If we look back at all the times we have consumed ourselves with worry and doubt, what’s happened? Did you make it through? Did it work out ok or did you make it out stronger than before? I would say most of us would answer yes to the majority of situations. If you’re reading this, you did survive each of the obstacles. Now the question is how do we survive each frustration well? I have found it’s all in how we look at each situation. It’s our personal choice as to how we want to react to each bump in the road.
For example, the little stressors such as being stuck in a traffic jam or getting lost on vacation:
Sometimes we get so frustrated that we’re running late, wasting gas or wasting time turning in circles. Although these setbacks can be annoying, is it really worth ruining your day, your moment or someone else’s moment? Now of course I don’t like to be late, but I definitely don’t want to be late and unhappy. The two together are a real crappy combination.
My loving husband, Herson Garcia, used to get so worked up when we were heading to a conference or leaving for vacation that he would make the whole experience regimented and rushed. For most women and men, this is not a great turn on :>) If we were running a little behind, he would get less smiley and just resemble a drill sergeant to the kids and I. By the time we did arrive where we were going, we were all late and unhappy. Being late is one thing, but then screwing up the rest of the trip, event etc. just because we were late, was even worse. This is when I decided to start reminding my family and myself, do we want to be late and at least happy or would we rather lose out on both. “Not I”, said the wise wife. Take my time, but don’t take my happiness with it.
The same tool can work in many areas of your life.
Many people are financially strapped right now, unable to take their families on vacation or on a weekend get away. Although it sucks to be looking for ways to pay the next bill, we don’t have to lose our love and kindness to family also. This may sound insane, but you could lose your job and your house and still have love, happiness and peace. How? Think back? What did people do before the big houses existed? What did people do when there were no cell phones, TV’s, fancy cars and Disney World?
They spent time together. They read books. They worked. They went for walks. They looked for affordable shelter. Before we were so attached to “things” there was happiness. Do you think everyone who was born in the 1800’s walked around depressed? Heck No! It might not have been easy all the time, but they weren’t all on anti-depressants trying to figure out how to cheer themselves up because they couldn’t go on an extravagant vacation or buy the $30,000 and up car. Why? Because it didn’t exist. They weren’t sold to think these things were needed for happiness or for status. Although it is very humbling to have to shut off your cable or cut down on dining out, it doesn’t have to be miserable. It doesn’t have to take your family with it. Money and things is not what creates happiness in a family. It’s the little moments in which everyone still feels safe and loved no matter what is happening around them.
So how do you make a tough situation like financial loss better?
- If you have children, have a camp out in their room. Pop homemade popcorn, color with them, make a special craft. They will remember that camp out more so than most major trips to Disney World and it will mean more than buying them something to cheer them up.
- If you are with a special someone- light some candles and have a nice dinner together. You can put ice water in wine glasses, put the pizza on nice plates and be comfortable together. Show each other that although you may have to take a few steps back financially, you can jump leaps and bounds mentally and emotionally together.
- If you are on your own, take this time to focus on you. Take care of you. Gather with friends to go for walks. Read a nice book in the park. These things may sound cheesy, but use time of setbacks as an opportunity to slow down a little and do things you can’t do when your slammed with work and killing yourself to pay the bills.
We have to know there are Universal Laws and the Law of Rhythm states there is a time for everything, with no exceptions. If you can ride out the bad knowing the good is on it’s way, then you have won half the battle. The more you fight the bad with negativity, fear and worry, the longer it will last.
So although I know it’s not always easy to look for the opportunity in the moments of frustration, there is opportunity and there will be an upswing if you allow it. Try to ride the wave the best you can and know that you have at least two ways of dealing with every stressful situation. You can lose your accessories and lose your family = no money and no love. Or you can take the time to invest more love and security into those around you, while you work together to build the financial security you want.
You can have a rushed, miserable trip to school and work, arriving late and unhappy.
Or you can realize it’s always better to be late and happy!